Skillfully Impulsive
by Rainymonday89
Summary: Takes place at the end of Pass/Fail during the 1.5 second flicker of the candle-light-dorm-room ‘date’ between our 2 favorite girls.
1. Skillfully Impulsive

**Skillfully Impulsive**

My first fic… so be nice  
Takes place at the end of Pass/Fail during the 1.5 second flicker of the candle-light-dorm-room 'date' between our 2 favorite girls  
Maybe more chapters to come… but this is it for now  
I don't own anything. Thanks NBC for not effing this one up… yet.

CLAIRE: I'm really lucky to have you, and I'm sorry about this morning

GRETCHEN: Forget it. You know me, impulsive Gretchen wants to hold hands, so she does it.

CLAIRE: I know, and I love that about you. And I want to be more like that and not be beholden to any label or definition or who I'm supposed to be. I just… **I want to hold your hand.**

GRETCHEN: People are going to start to talk.

CLAIRE: Let them talk. Talking is good. In fact, I could use some talking, if you still have a sympathetic ear.

GRETCHEN: I, in fact, have two ears. C'mon.

* * *

It was beautiful when she smiled. The slow burning candles flickered deep in her blue eyes, reflected an almost sadness. Yet, it was no longer the sadness of being alone. Now, it was a sadness of letting go. Claire Bennett was finally accepting her destructibility.

Hands were draped casually over one another, neither girl offering it much thought. It just felt so right, so comfortable. Their laughter filled the room, competing only with the smell of burnt wax. There was no room for sadness—or apprehensions.

"Tonight is a night I could fall in love with," Claire thought as she watched the glow on Gretchen's face.

After a moment of potentially awkward silence, Gretchen offered, "It seems our candles have run out." She paused, waiting for her potential girlfriend to get the idea.

"It seems they have," the blond offered in return, unsure of the direction her friend was taking the conversation.

"So, what do you think we should do now?"

"Light more?" Claire asked innocently.

"Right. Sure."

Claire noticed the disappointment in Gretchen's voice and instantly recognized the path she was, once again, heading down.

"Or," she corrected, "we could just call it a night. It has been a long day…"

"Sleep. Right." Claire was clearly not reading Gretchen's signals.

"Listen Gretch, this is all a little bit new for me." The blond hesitated. "I just don't have the experience that you…"

"I get it, Claire." She hadn't intended to sound so insensitive, but, somehow, she had.

The two girls stared at each other, absorbing the now present darkness, neither knowing quite what to say.

Finally, Gretchen broke the silence, "I'm sorry. I know a lot has been going on with you lately. It's just… a lot has been going on inside my crazy little head too, you know."

The taller girl paused, distracted by the sound of their two heartbeats violently colliding.

"I just don't want to spend my whole life holding hands through a cat flap…"

Claire stared at her roommate confused, "I'm not exactly sure what that means Gretch."

"Oh, just stealing lines from other hopeless romantics in love with blond-haired girls."

The second the words left her mouth, Gretchen instantly regretted them. Hoping Claire hadn't heard her confession, she quickly made her way to her bed and prepared herself to sleep away their entire conversation.

After a few moments of inconclusive silence, Gretchen felt the edge of her bed depress under the weight of another body. A hand fell softly on her back, begging for Gretchen to turn around and face the reality of her words. Unwilling to allow Claire the distress of seeing her cry, she stared at the blank wall in front of her.

"Gretch, I know I haven't always been the best with words. Even Syler picked up on that one…" she recalled back to the events that took place earlier that day. "He couldn't believe that even after all of our interactions, all of the moments we have had together, I still can't say what I really want to say to you…"

A single drop rolled down her skin gathering into a tear at the tip of her nose. She shook it away and patiently waited for another to form in its place.

Unable to listen to her girlfriend cry for any longer, Gretchen quickly spun around and pulled Claire into her arms.

"You don't have to say it if you don't mean it," she offered. "I understand."

"But I do mean it Gretch. I am so in love with you. I just didn't know how to tell you."

"Well that seemed to work pretty well," Gretchen challenged playfully.

"Yeah," Claire smiled, "I guess it did. And I meant it when I said that I loved your impulsiveness. I do want to be more like that too."

"Well, impulsiveness is a skill that has taken many years to master," she flirted, "So, you have a lot of making up to do."

Claire couldn't contain the smile that tugged at the edge of her lips.

"Why don't I start with this."

Before Gretchen had even the slightest chance to comprehend the look of desire in Claire's eyes, her lips were captured in the most passionate and sincere kiss she had ever felt. Unsure of Claire's full intentions and unwilling to frighten her best friend away once again, Gretchen remained content with playful kisses. Yet, it was the blond that deepened the connection, her hands softly playing at the hem of Gretchen's shirt. Before either girl had a moment to curb her impulses, both bodies fell entwined onto Gretchen's bed.

"Claire, do you think maybe we should slow down a bit."

"Why? I'm tired of waiting for something that has been right in front of me all along."

"I know Claire, but we're talking about your first time here. Are you sure you want it to be with me?"

"Gretch… I'm crushing on you." Claire's coy smile immediately took them back to the first time they kissed in that very same dorm room.

"And yes, I'm sure. Show me what it's like to really feel."


	2. Confronting Demons

**Confronting Demons**  
(Skillfully Impulsive pt. 2)

Just a little follow up to the last chapter. This will probably be it for this story, but no worries, I'll write again after this week's episode, hopefully filling in the blanks. You have all been so wonderful me with your reviews. Thank you : )  
Again, I own nothing. Credit to NBC.

* * *

She traced her slender finger from the tip of the blond's nose down to the tender spot strategically placed directly between her two perfect breasts, leaving a trail of kisses not far behind

"Ohh, Gretch…"

She smiled at the deep moan that framed her name. There was something so incredibly beautiful about the way it fell off her girlfriend's swollen lips.

_I can't believe I'm actually making out with Claire Bennett._

The consequences were undoubtedly frightening, but the need to feel connected to her lost roommate was all the brunette needed to find her courage.

_Claire needs me to be strong. It's my turn to protect her._

As Gretchen lowered herself to fit with her girlfriend's body, she instantly felt Claire tense up beneath her.

"I am so sorry Claire. It was too much too soon wasn't it? I mean I should have asked, I know. It's just I…" Gretchen was almost fearful of the answer.

"Hey Gretch," Claire asked calmly.

"Yeah, Sweetie?"

"Can we talk?"

The brunette sensed a deep sadness in the girl's voice. It was a question so obviously laced with years of hurt and pain. Gretchen had never seen her girlfriend so vulnerable, so fragile. But she knew that, in this moment, the only thing Claire needed was to be protected.

"His name was Brody," the blonde began, a small quiver stuttering through her speech.

"He was the quarterback at my high school. He was charming, gorgeous, intoxicated, and he tried to rape me."

"Oh." Gretchen knew of no other way to respond. The realization of what Claire was disclosing had just begun to set in.

"He tried to rape me, so I tried to kill him," continued the blond, her eyes focused on an undetermined point across the room.

"And?" Gretchen asked as she slid behind her girlfriend, pulling her into her arms.

"I failed. I couldn't get his car to go fast enough. The impact into the wall wasn't enough to do the job."

_Why is she telling me this? Does she think that I won't love her if I know what she did?_

"We ended up using the Haitian on him, so he doesn't remember anything…. He's lucky—he gets to forget."

It killed Gretchen to see Claire like this. All of this time, she had been walking around pretending like it never happened, wishing she could forget.

Gretchen cuddled into her girlfriend and whispered, "It's ok if you don't want to keep talking about it. I understand." She paused, but only long enough to know that the girl was still paying attention, "I still love you Claire Bennett."

"I know, and that's the point. I thought that after everything that happened with Brody, I would never be able to love anyone. And I hadn't… until I met you."

The brunette grinned into Claire's golden blonde hair and pulled her closer.

"Gretch, I meant it when I said that I was sure. I want my first time to be with you. I just don't think I'm ready yet…"

"I know. But no worries; you're well worth waiting for."

"I love you Gretchen Berg."

"I love you Claire Bennett."

The two girls fell quickly into a deep, harmonious sleep, safe in each other's arms. A calming peace settled over the room, protecting them from the outside world. With the smell of wax filling the air, each girl dreamt only of the other.

* * *

Sorry to everyone that wanted to see them sleep together. I started writing their scene but something just didn't feel right. I think Claire's storyline with Brody was essential to the development of her character. So, I felt the need to explore the pain that it caused, and also her desire to let Gretchen help her heal that pain. I hope you all don't hate me too much for being a tease.


End file.
